Sunday, November 20, 2011

Reflection #10: Youth, Like Their Parents, Are More Busy than Ever

I know I’m getting older when I begin more and more sentences with “When I was a kid…” One of the things I comment about being much different from my childhood is the schedules of parents and children. These days it seems like most people are over-scheduled, with activities running all the time. When I was a kid we played sports, learned music and developed hobbies but without the intensity of today. When I was a ten year old playing hockey I think I played a game a week and maybe had a practice a week as well. There was one tournament during the season which involved the other towns in a 30 mile radius. Today children much younger than that will play three games a week, along with a couple of practices and be involved in many tournaments throughout the season, some of them in other provinces! With that kind of schedule for each child it is no wonder parents are feeling stressed out.

This hyper-scheduled life has an impact on the church as well. It is one of the reasons for decreased attendance at Sunday worship. In our congregation the number of people at worship on a Sunday morning has decreased steadily ever since I’ve arrived. (I don’t think it has anything to do with me specifically, but a person could be tempted to think that way). When I look at the membership records I don’t see that our actual membership numbers are shrinking very much at all, in fact I would say it has basically stayed a fairly consistent size for the past couple of decades. What has changed is the consistency with which people attend. With schedules like I have indicated above it is no surprise that on any given weekend a family with children may be involved in numerous scheduled activities. Even if none of those activities are scheduled on Sunday morning (though that is getting more and more likely) some parents are simply glad for a chance to catch their breath, de-stress and maybe even sleep in.

At one time culture acknowledged Sunday morning as a time that was not to be scheduled – this would allow people to attend church without having to choose between activities (or work). Now church is just one of many, many possibilities on Sunday morning. I don’t think we will ever get that kind of cultural support again – instead people simply have too many things to fit into a weekend and Sunday morning becomes another block of time to use in our scheduling crunch.

Another aspect to consider is simply the ever increasing choices in how to use our time. There was a time (notice I didn’t say “When I was a kid”) when the number of possibilities of what to do with one’s free time was significantly less than now. Back then entertainment choices meant choosing between reading a book, listening to some records, watching TV (if anything good was on the 1 or 2 channels available), having some friends over to play a board game (or to engage is imaginative play outside – ah how many road hockey games had me taking the goalie role imagining myself to be Ken Dryden), or if you had the skill – playing some music. That was pretty well it, not a whole lot of choices really. The electronics revolution changed all that - now at any time of the day people have access to any number of entertainment options – too numerous to list here. So on top of more organized activities outside the home there also are far more activities to keep one occupied inside the home.

In my time in ministry I have seen a shift in the attitudes of parents and youth. In my early years parents looked to the church to provide safe and healthy social and recreational activities (and if the kids got a little religion thrown in with that so much the better). This has changed so that parents no longer see the church as one of the few organizations that can provide a program to “keep their kids busy so they keep out of trouble.” Chances are young people will be less resistant to participating in organizations and activities outside of the church (to avoid social stigmatization at school) and even if the church had a great youth program with lots of fun and amazing activities, other organizations and activities would still take precedence most of the time.

Wishful thinking fuelled by nostalgia for lost youth will not change this current reality. Youth are more busy than ever, parents are more stressed than ever, and society just seems to keep speeding up the pace. We can not compete with cultural and social forces, so until our society wakes up from this ever-increasing busy-ness and decides to get out of the rat race this is the reality the church must work within.

In the meantime we can continue to hold up the need for Sabbath, by which I do not mean a set day for worship once a week, agreed to by all of society, but rather an individual and intentional stepping out of the hectic-ness of life on a regular basis – a time to slow down, to quiet down, to reflect, to pray, to be with family and friends in a non-structured way. A time to reconnect with God and with others, a time to ask questions about our priorities, a time to be still and hear the gentle whispers of God’s Spirit, a time not for more programming (even if it is religious) but for less. A time to remember, and in remembering becoming more aware of the presence of God in our lives. Perhaps then we will understand that we are ultimately not the masters of our own little worlds, but the one who is loves and cares for us – for all time. Then our faith in God can be strengthened and restored, and finally we find true peace, not just inactivity.

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