Let me begin this reflection by giving a brief overview of the importance of hospitality in the Bible. The book of Genesis has a striking contrast, showing the blessing that accompanies hospitality and the curse that results from inhospitality. First we have a picture of the hospitality code of the nomads lived out when Abraham and Sarah welcome three strangers. These guests conclude their visit with a blessing of good news – a child will be born, much to the giggling disbelief of Sarah. (Genesis 18:1-10) This child will carry the covenant forward into future generations. Covenant and blessing are connected to hospitality.
In the next chapter of Genesis we see a complete contrast, here the city dwellers of Sodom act with violent inhospitality, wanting Lot to throw his visitors out into the street so that they might humiliate and rape them. Throughout human history rape has been used to assert domination over others, a horrific weapon of war still being used today. Rather than welcome the strangers as Lot had done, this mob of Sodom wanted to dominate and abuse them. The sad conclusion to this story is destruction – those who wanted to hurt and destroy were removed from the picture, wiped out. (Genesis 19:1-29) Inhospitality leads not to blessing, but to a curse.
Other times when strangers were received with hospitality in the Hebrew scriptures include Moses being welcomed by a priest of Midian (Exodus 2:18-20), the widow of Zarephath caring for the prophet Elijah despite her poverty (1 Kings 17:7-16), and the prophet Elisha being welcomed in the home of a Shunammite (2 Kings 4:8-10). These acts of hospitality result in blessings for both the guest and host.
In the New Testament we see that Jesus relied on hospitality as he went about the countryside teaching and ministering. Sometimes the hospitality is heartfelt and results in changes of the heart, like in the case of Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10). Other times the hospitality is minimal and shallow, as in the case of Simon the Pharisee (Luke 7:36-46). Before his arrest and execution Jesus himself shows hospitality at the last supper, washing the feet of the disciples, and offering the bread and the wine as the host of the meal. In doing so Jesus teaches his followers that they are to serve others, they are to offer their gifts for the benefit of others. Following the resurrection Jesus once again showed hospitality as he invited the disciples to a sea-side breakfast he had prepared for them (John 21:9-13). Hospitality and Jesus’ ministry are intertwined.
The apostles knew the value of hospitality for spreading the good news of Jesus. Throughout the Book of Acts there are many examples of hospitality shown to Peter, Paul and others. In the New Testament letters we find many passages encouraging Christians to show hospitality to others. Here are a few:
“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” (Romans 12:13 NIV)
Showing hospitality was a characteristic expected of early church leaders (1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:8). It would follow that church leaders today should also be expected to be hospitable. The exhortations for all Christians to practice hospitality should be as relevant today as in the early church, but hospitality is a tricky thing.“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” (1 Peter 4:9-10 NIV)“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” (Hebrews 13:2 NIV)
The difficult nature of hospitality is that we can often be blind to ways we are inhospitable. In my time in ministry I have seen efforts to be hospitable fall short of the mark simply by being unaware or uninformed. In my years at seminary there was great frustration over the request to use inclusive language at all times. Being a male I didn’t always understand why women felt left out when masculine dominated language was used in worship. I suspect I didn’t always “get it” because I was of the privileged gender who never felt excluded, and I knew I wasn't intentionally trying to exclude women. That alone blinded me to the unintentional way I was being inhospitable. Over the years I came to understand how powerfully language shapes our attitudes and actions, thus how careful use of language is needed in order to be truly welcoming to all people. Hospitality is a tricky thing – just because I don’t sense something as inhospitable doesn’t mean that others experience this the same way. I still have a lot to learn in this area, but there has been growth.
Over the years another blindness to inhospitality I have noticed (often in clergy who, in other ways, strove diligently to be welcoming to all people - which makes this example ironic) has to do with the full inclusion of alcoholics. Working with a fellow pastor who is a recovering alcoholic I became aware of how alcoholics can be very sensitive to being excluded and marginalized. To ensure that we showed good hospitality to such people we made it a practice to always provide a non-alcoholic alternative at Holy Communion for those who could not tolerate wine (for whatever reason). Providing a gluton-free alternative to the bread is a similar attempt to practice hospitality. I remember how this practice was met with derision by some pastors and leaders in the church. They felt it destroyed the symbolism of being one in Christ, whereas I saw their attitudes as destroying the unity of Christ in actual fact, by making those who already feel shunned by society further excluded from full participation in the community of Christ.
So here is the tricky part, which is the inhospitable act – to anger those who would prefer celebrating Communion from a single cup, or to exclude those who would not be able to receive one (or both) elements? Is being hospitable to one group showing inhospitality to the other? In the end, for myself, I came to the conclusion that the manner in which the meal is shared is less important than the fact that it is indeed shared, and shared with all.
One of the early controversies in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada was about Communion of the Baptized, in other words, welcoming children to the Lord’s Table. This caused quite a stir amongst folks at the time. It was seen by some as dispensing with the age old tradition insisting that only those who have been confirmed could participate in Communion. For others this was seen as an act of hospitality to a group whom Jesus welcomed with open arms. While it was acknowledged that children might not fully understand the theological meaning of Communion, it was also pointed out that adults don’t really understand the fullness of this mystery of Christ coming to us in bread and wine either. We were reminded that Jesus said “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me.” (Mark 9:37 NIV)
Speaking of children, there was a time in our congregation when children weren’t really welcomed by all. When our children were small my wife Beth insisted on bringing them into worship with her. In those days heaven forbid if kids made a noise in church! If they did then quickly eyes narrowed and brows furrowed and telepathic messages were sent to the offending mother “Those kids are distracting me, take them out!” Now I do recognize that sometimes a crying child can be an overwhelming distraction, and in such cases they should be taken out while the tantrum lasts – but my wife was a master at keeping the kids relatively quiet and content during worship, still the glares would come at the littlest noise or movement.
Glaring eyes may perhaps be the most common way in which we send a message of inhospitality. In earlier years people would be glared at if they wore something considered inappropriate, or if they sat in “someone’s pew”, or if they were simply strangers, or if they sang off key, or if they showed emotion, or if… the list goes on and on. People can sense when they’re wanted, when they’re welcome, and they can certainly sense when they’re not! I know of too many stories of people who left the church, never to return, because of inhospitable treatment.
Our congregation used to hold Sunday School during the worship services, that was when I first came to serve here over two decades ago. When the decision was made to shift Sunday School to a time slot between the two morning services (so the children could worship with their families) we discovered that there were many who didn’t feel this was a gesture of hospitality, but rather an unwelcome inconvenience. So once again hospitality is a tricky thing – is it the right thing to welcome children into worship, or is that inhospitable to those who find children in worship to disruptive? In the end we decided that unless children went to worship with their families it would become more difficult to make worship a part of their life as they got older. We risked welcoming families with young children, and trusted that God could still be worshiped in spite of some possible distraction or noise. Some did not like this decision, and left our congregation to worship elsewhere. Is it even possible to be hospitable to all? Is it possible to live out the invitation “All are welcome”?
Most recently the question of hospitality in our church has been focussed on the full acceptance of GLBT persons. Once again, as with other hot topic issues in the past, the church is trying to cope with internal strife over this question. For some it is simply an issue of yielding to scriptural authority, for others it is a question of justice, love and hospitality. It will take some time for the emotional dust of this issue to settle, but until then it is clear that full acceptance of homosexuals is outside the bounds of Christian hospitality for some, whereas for others it is a clear expression of Christ-like hospitality shown to a marginalized and misunderstood minority.
I end this reflection with the story of our church’s elevator. Our church building has the sanctuary on ground level, there are no steps to navigate in order to enter our worship space. We advertised our church as "wheelchair accessible." One day it was brought to our attention that we really shouldn't claim to be wheelchair accessible because our Education Center could only be entered by climbing some stairs. This never seemed like a significant problem to me, not until some members who used wheelchairs lamented that they couldn’t attend any functions in the Education Center. This meant they were excluded from funeral lunches, from annual meetings, from special presentations, and other such events that took place in our Education Center auditorium. Once the lament became more public everyone realized “This is not an acceptable situation”. So engineers were hired to look at some possibilities, plans were drawn up, and soon a construction crew was putting an elevator into our building. After the elevator was installed I noticed just how many people needed to use it in order to get upstairs. I had never noticed this problem before, and now it became obvious how many people were excluded before the elevator was installed. Because I didn’t need an elevator I was blind to the needs of others - I never realized we were being inhospitable prior to that. Since that time I have been often reminded what a great addition to our building the elevator has been, over and over people have expressed appreciation for the ability to join the rest of us upstairs. How could I have missed that before? Hospitality is a tricky thing, sometimes the need for it becomes obvious only after it has been offered.
The church has come a long way in our efforts to practice hospitality, but we can never assume we’re being hospitable enough. Hospitality require attentiveness and understanding, courage and compassion. The easier response to those who are not like us is to exclude or ignore, but Christ calls us to notice and include. While it might not always be easy we can be assured that to practice hospitality is indeed a blessing.
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The graphic used in this post is © Daniel W. Erlander. Used with permission.
I have learned much about being hospitable from Daniel Erlander's books. You can find information on his books and artwork on his website.
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The graphic used in this post is © Daniel W. Erlander. Used with permission.
I have learned much about being hospitable from Daniel Erlander's books. You can find information on his books and artwork on his website.
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