In music theory dynamics are relative. There is so specific decibel level connected with loud or soft, there is only the relation between the two - it is the contrast that counts. I've come to believe that we live at a pretty loud level all the time in our culture - we are constantly surrounded by noise (audible noise, visual noise, information noise). So much noise, but we are not aware of it because we don't have the contrast, we don't have the quiet. I discovered, the hard way, that our spiritual nature requires quiet - but we seldom get that stillness any more, unless we are intentional about doing so.
Being involved in youth ministry for all my 25 as a pastor, I have experienced much loudness - whether that was simply a bunch of youth hanging out talking and laughing loudly, or attending a youth event where the music for worship was played loudly and energetically by a band. This became normal for me.
One day a number of years ago I was at one of these youth events, and it was certainly loud. The worship band was enthusiastic and skillful, the teenagers were fully participating in the music, everyone in the room seemed excited to be worshipping God - but I felt strangely disconnected. Admittedly there were other things going on in my life at that time that added to this feeling, but I remember praying to God while at this youth event for some guidance and direction but feeling like I wasn't being heard. The irony is that I don't think I was hearing - the noise in my life was too loud.
A few days later I went to a retreat centre called Qu'Appelle House of Prayer, a place of intentional peace and quiet. There was a time of worship there as well, but rather than a few thousand young people it was a mere handful of people. After some time in conversation with Glenn Zimmer, a co-director of Qu'Appelle House of Prayer, he mentioned that there would be worship service that I was welcome to attend before I left. Then he added, as if to forewarn me, that there would be a 20 minute time of silence during the worship. I wondered how I would make out with such a length of silence and stillness - that's a lot longer than I would ever be quiet normally (except when reading a book), but not wanting to be rude and reject the invitation to participate in the worship I stayed.
I remember two things very clearly from that simple worship service: one of the scripture readings was from the 1st chapter of 1st Peter, and I became aware of God's comforting presence in a deeply moving manner. The scripture reading seemed to soak right into me, like it was a message spoken personally for me. God's presence seemed to surround me and I began to sense the guidance and direction I was seeking. It was a transformative experience.
So why did I hear God that day, and not a few days earlier? Quite simply because I was drowning out God. I knew that God spoke in a "still, small voice" to the prophet Elijah at the mouth of the cave, but I didn't make the connection with that story and my own life. In that Elijah story we are shown that most often God prefers to speak to us quietly and gently rather than forcefully and loudly. In that story God is not in the noisy and spectacular wind, fire and earthquake (isn't that the cartoon image we have of God talking to humans, a big booming voice coming from the sky?) The passage quite clearly says God was not in the noise, rather God came to Elijah in "a sound of sheer silence" (as the NRSV translation puts it - 1 Kings 19:12).
In reading through the Bible this past year (as part of the Disciple Bible Study Course we are running at our church) it became more clear to me that most often God is revealed in a quiet manner. If God is not to impinge on our free will I think this is the only way God can approach humans. If God were to speak in a loud and spectacular way we would most likely be overwhelmed - there would be little sense of our ability to freely respond. While there are a few famous theophanies in the Bible - complete with smoke and noise, for the most part God's revelation comes in quiet conversations, dreams and silent signs (like fleece being wet or dry: Judges 6:36-40).
Since that first experience at Qu'Appelle House of Prayer I have been more intentional in having quiet time in my life, and making reflective worship experiences available in the church I serve. At first I put together something called Ambient Vespers, and more recently the alternative, meditative and creative worship gathering called Mysterium. These are both attempts at making ourselves more quiet so we can hear God. They are times to "be still and know that God is God" (Psalm 46:10). Based on the comments I have heard from people after these worship experiences, there are many who appreciate that God can be heard more clearly in the quiet.
Click here to be directed to the Mysterium website.
Click here to visit the Qu'Appelle House of Prayer website.
Thanks Dennis for your reflections on "quiet." We certainly live in a noisy culture and it's not just audible "noise" as you pointed out. Quiet has become counter-cultural! At our mid-year internship retreat we spent an evening at Rivendell retreat house on Bowen Island - they also have long silence as part of their worship. Afterwards some of us were reflecting that quiet/stillness is something that is so needed in our congregations & worship. But it's a challenge to help others realize that it's needed!
ReplyDeleteAs an introvert I've always recognized that I need my quiet time but it's still a challenge at times to make sure I take it. I have, however, made the decision to cancel my internet service at home, which will start on June 19th. Partly because of financial reasons, but also because I find I spend too much time on my computer. It's a little scary to think how I'll fill my down time without internet but I'm hoping it will be an opportunity to have a little more stillness in my life. Wish me luck! ;)
Thanks for your reflection Laura. Blessings on your internet-less home.
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