Reflection #4: God Can Speak Louder in Our Quiet

In music theory dynamics are relative. There is so specific decibel level connected with loud or soft, there is only the relation between the two - it is the contrast that counts. I've come to believe that we live at a pretty loud level all the time in our culture - we are constantly surrounded by noise (audible noise, visual noise, information noise). So much noise, but we are not aware of it because we don't have the contrast, we don't have the quiet. I discovered, the hard way, that our spiritual nature requires quiet - but we seldom get that stillness any more, unless we are intentional about doing so.

Being involved in youth ministry for all my 25 as a pastor, I have experienced much loudness - whether that was simply a bunch of youth hanging out talking and laughing loudly, or attending a youth event where the music for worship was played loudly and energetically by a band. This became normal for me.

One day a number of years ago I was at one of these youth events, and it was certainly loud. The worship band was enthusiastic and skillful, the teenagers were fully participating in the music, everyone in the room seemed excited to be worshipping God - but I felt strangely disconnected. Admittedly there were other things going on in my life at that time that added to this feeling, but I remember praying to God while at this youth event for some guidance and direction but feeling like I wasn't being heard. The irony is that I don't think I was hearing - the noise in my life was too loud.

A few days later I went to a retreat centre called Qu'Appelle House of Prayer, a place of intentional peace and quiet. There was a time of worship there as well, but rather than a few thousand young people it was a mere handful of people. After some time in conversation with Glenn Zimmer, a co-director of Qu'Appelle House of Prayer, he mentioned that there would be worship service that I was welcome to attend before I left. Then he added, as if to forewarn me, that there would be a 20 minute time of silence during the worship. I wondered how I would make out with such a length of silence and stillness - that's a lot longer than I would ever be quiet normally (except when reading a book), but not wanting to be rude and reject the invitation to participate in the worship I stayed.

I remember two things very clearly from that simple worship service: one of the scripture readings was from the 1st chapter of 1st Peter, and I became aware of God's comforting presence in a deeply moving manner. The scripture reading seemed to soak right into me, like it was a message spoken personally for me. God's presence seemed to surround me and I began to sense the guidance and direction I was seeking. It was a transformative experience.

So why did I hear God that day, and not a few days earlier? Quite simply because I was drowning out God. I knew that God spoke in a "still, small voice" to the prophet Elijah at the mouth of the cave, but I didn't make the connection with that story and my own life. In that Elijah story we are shown that most often God prefers to speak to us quietly and gently rather than forcefully and loudly. In that story God is not in the noisy and spectacular wind, fire and earthquake (isn't that the cartoon image we have of God talking to humans, a big booming voice coming from the sky?) The passage quite clearly says God was not in the noise, rather God came to Elijah in "a sound of sheer silence" (as the NRSV translation puts it - 1 Kings 19:12).

In reading through the Bible this past year (as part of the Disciple Bible Study Course we are running at our church) it became more clear to me that most often God is revealed in a quiet manner. If God is not to impinge on our free will I think this is the only way God can approach humans. If God were to speak in a loud and spectacular way we would most likely be overwhelmed - there would be little sense of our ability to freely respond. While there are a few famous theophanies in the Bible - complete with smoke and noise, for the most part God's revelation comes in quiet conversations, dreams and silent signs (like fleece being wet or dry: Judges 6:36-40).

Since that first experience at Qu'Appelle House of Prayer I have been more intentional in having quiet time in my life, and making reflective worship experiences available in the church I serve. At first I put together something called Ambient Vespers, and more recently the alternative, meditative and creative worship gathering called Mysterium. These are both attempts at making ourselves more quiet so we can hear God. They are times to "be still and know that God is God" (Psalm 46:10). Based on the comments I have heard from people after these worship experiences, there are many who appreciate that God can be heard more clearly in the quiet.

Click here to be directed to the Mysterium website.

Click here to visit the Qu'Appelle House of Prayer website.

Living Stones

I'm interrupting my series of 25 reflections to share a sermon I preached today. I thought the message is applicable to the whole of the church, thus I am sharing it on my blog.

Scripture readings: Acts 7:55-60 & 1 Peter 2:2-10

Let me take you back to a scene from my childhood... it was shortly after moving into our newly constructed house - Dad was building a retaining wall for the driveway, but he and Mom wanted something a little more fancy than a simple concrete wall. So on a number of occasions we jumped in the station wagon, bringing with us a large sledge hammer and headed out to the countryside. I remember driving slowly down the road looking out the windows of the car to the surrounding prairie flat land for stones, big stones. When a promising one was spotted Dad would get out of the car grab the sledge hammer and walk purposefully up to the stone. After a moment of assessment the heavy hammer would swing high in the air and come down with a mighty crack. Sometimes it would take multiple hits but eventually the stone would split open and we would then gather around to examine the colours and patterns revealed inside the stone. If the colour and pattern was to our liking the stone was hauled over to the car and piled in the back. When we had a load full we drove back home and proceeded to top the concrete wall will this assortment of split stones. Thus began my love of stones.

This love of stones has continued throughout my life. In my days working for the County of Newell as a young man I was thrilled when in the course of working with test gravel pits I came across stones that were almost perfectly round. When I found one it would go in my lunch box and be brought home to add to my collection - I still have some of those stones (see the picture above). Today if you were to look in the garden in front of our house, the one under the large spruce tree, there are a number of stones scattered purposefully about. Each stone coming from somewhere significant to our family history - from Christopher Lake where my in-laws have had a cabin for years, from a farm near Tilley, Alberta where my grandparents lived and worked when I was little, and so forth. To me the stones have meaning - in a sense they ground me in the past, in my heritage and history.

In our scripture readings today we hear of stones twice, and these stones also have meaning. The stones found in our readings today remind us that stones can be used to knock down or to build up.

In the first reading a young man, Stephen, is preaching about Jesus. This is causing frustration and anger amongst some of the religious leaders of that day. When these religious people have heard enough they pick up stones and begin to hurl them at Stephen. This communal execution involved the whole crowd, it was the majority against a minority, a mob against a single unarmed man. It was fear and anger against truth and love. The stones fly at Stephen, their damage is frightfully quick. Sensing his death Stephen prays to God, a prayer much like the one Stephen's Lord prayed from the cross: "Don't hold this sin against them."

Stones can damage, they can knock down, they can kill.

Why then would the writer of First Peter encourage his listeners to be living stones? What did this image suggest to them? What might it mean for us? What are these living stones to be used for? For knocking down? For hurting? For destroying?

Quite the opposite! These living stones are to be used in building up a spiritual house. All who follow Jesus are being called to a special purpose in this passage - one that is life giving rather than death inflicting.

One of the central themes in this passage from First Peter is the idea of being chosen. First this passage notes that Jesus was the living stone who was rejected by humans but was chosen as precious by God. That phrase makes me think of driving around the countryside with my Dad looking for just the right stone for our building project back home. I knew that farmers complained about stones and rocks - they made it difficult to farm the land, they wished all those stones in the fields would disappear. But for our family, those stones in the fields could hold great beauty and strength to enhance our wall back home. So we looked carefully at what many simply rejected or passed by.

A little lesson on ancient middle-eastern construction techniques might help the image make more sense. Houses in that region and era used stone as the main building material. Some wood was used for things like door frames and roof beams, but mostly houses were made with stones. The builder would first find a large strong stone to function as the cornerstone. This foundational item was most important, for everything would be built out from it. If the cornerstone was flawed or cracked this could lead to problems in the future - unwanted shifting or slipping that would weaken the whole structure. So the cornerstone was very important and thus chosen carefully.

After this other stones were chosen to build up the walls. These were not uniform bricks, but stones of various shapes and sizes gathered from the local area. Some stone cutting would have been done, but primarily the builder looked for stones that were the right size and shape to fit in properly with the other stones already in the wall, making a stable and strong structure. Stones were chosen to fit into a specific spot - their value was not in being the same as other stones but rather in their unique size and shape. It took all kinds of stones to build a house. Thus when the writer of First Peter refers to the followers of Jesus as living stones being built into a spiritual house he is implying some noteworthy characteristics.

First - Christians are not all alike, we are different in many ways - but we are all chosen to fit into the spiritual house being built. If the builder has chosen us, then no one can say we don't belong. We each have a calling, we each have a purpose, we each have a place. This is similar to the Apostle Paul's image of the body of Christ being made up of many parts, yet all needing each other.

Second - we are called to build up, not to knock down. Our calling is the exact opposite of the stones thrown at Stephen. As living stones we are called to work together regardless of how we might differ from others, to become a place of safety and shelter for others. The stones do not build the walls for themselves, but for the sake of others who will be sheltered within. To put another way, we are to protect, not condemn; we are to love, not judge; we are to be stones that build up, not stones that knock down.

Third - we are chosen to work together in such a way that we help connect people with God. We are called to become a spiritual house, a temple - a building that in ancient times was the place the people went to be reconciled to God. This connection to the ancient temple is seen in some of the other images in First Peter: "You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation". Each of these titles warrants a brief comment.

Chosen people - once again the idea of being chosen is named. It echoes the covenant of God with Abraham and Sarah and their descendants. God chose them to be the beginning of a great nation that would be a blessing for all nations. Christians are now part of that great promise through our cornerstone, Jesus. Through baptism we enter into this covenant relationship with God who chose us - no one can say we don't belong, or that we have no purpose.

Royal priesthood - this title looks back to the Levites, the ancient tribe of priests whose calling was to dedicate themselves to the reconciliation of God and his chosen people. They offered sacrifices and prayers on behalf of the people, they were chosen to serve, both God and the people. Now we too have been given this great privilege, this important task - we too are chosen to serve God and others, we are to help people be reconciled with God through our actions, our words and our prayers.

Holy nation - the word holy literally means set apart. We are a people set apart for a special purpose - God has chosen us to bring the good news to all the nations, news of love and forgiveness, of acceptance, and of justice. As a group of people we are called to live out our baptismal covenant with God - by the way we act and talk we are to be a means of grace to all, to be a blessing for all around us, for all around the world.

First Peter reminds us "Once you were not God's people, but now you are." We have been chosen by a loving God who then calls us to work together to help others know that they too have been chosen, they too have been called. We are to "tell about the excellent qualities of God" which clearly means we are to focus our message on God's love, mercy and grace. This is a message we are given to share not only with words, but with our very being - after all we are called not just to talk about a spiritual house, but to be a living part of that spiritual house, to be an integral part within the structure. We are chosen, unique as we are, to add to the strength and integrity of this spiritual house with all that we are.

What kind of stones have we been to this point? Ones that build up, or ones that knock down? Stones that protect, or stones that hurt? God has chosen us to be part of something wonderful, we have been called to a holy task - to build up and support one another, to be people who help each other connect with God, to provide sanctuary for those who need shelter from a world filled with hatred and injustice. With Christ as our cornerstone, with God as the provider of good materials and with the Holy Spirit as the master builder this image from First Peter will continue to come true - the spiritual house continues to be built, continues to be expanded. God has chosen you and me to be part of this building project - what kind of stones will we choose to be?

Reflection #3: The Bible Continues to Surprise

It is hard for me to estimate how many times I have read the Bible, certainly some portions I have read many, many times - but as for some of those parts that don't show up in the Lectionary or in your typical Bible Studies - even those I have encountered at least a few times because I have intentionally read through the entire Bible (yes, that means every verse) at least a couple of times in the past. So what can I say after all that Bible reading?

The Bible is a collection of ancient writings that produce a wide range of emotion in me. One moment I can be smiling with a deep sense of joy and wonder, then the next moment I can be getting downright angry or frustrated. These ancient writings have the ability to stir up within me a wide diversity of reactions - sort of like people have the ability to do. This shouldn't be too surprising since these books were written by all kinds of people, some of whom I probably wouldn't have enjoyed hanging out with. What is surprising is how these writings from centuries ago continue to reveal new nuggets of truth and beauty, even after a multitude of readings.

I don't like how the Bible has been treated by some Christians - as a document dictated word for word by God to ancient scribes, thus leaving no room for interpretation. Everything is black and white to these people. While the words may be literally black and white on the page, the people who wrote these words were many shaded and complex - so were their writings. While I do understand the desire to have guidelines for our lives set out simply and clearly, the Bible does not give us that simplicity. The only command Jesus gave his followers requires interpretation: How exactly should we love others? What does that look like? What is the most loving thing to do in any circumstance? Interpretation is the hard and sometimes dangerous work of Bible reading.

There is another type of reading that requires interpretation, music reading. I have grown up with the ambiguity that exists within musical interpretation. The composer can have written down notes of certain time values and pitch, but there is still a lot of interpretation required (which notes get emphasized over the others, which notes should be detached from the others, which ones connected, and so forth). In music one always has to consider the bigger picture: "How does this musical bit fit within the work as a whole?" Depending on how one interprets the notes on a page, the musical performance can be dramatically different from other readings. Yet even in this case, each dramatically different musical reading can reveal something of value in the composition.

In a similar fashion, the way I understood certain passages in the Bible when I was a young man, compared with how I understand them now can reveal a difference in interpretation. Yet there was almost always something of value discovered at each stage in this process. Perhaps how I understood a particular passage in my younger years was what I needed to be challenged by or comforted with in those days. Now at a different stage in my life I'm hearing new nuances in the scriptures that come not just from a broader understanding of the Biblical content, but also a larger, more experienced understanding of life.

Last fall we began using the Disciple Bible Study program at Christ Lutheran Church, an intensive course that not only meets for 2 and a half hours weekly, but also requires the participants to read a substantial portion of the Bible throughout the week. The first year of this program is an overview of the Bible and when the participants have finished the 34 week study they will have read about 70% of the entire Bible. When working through this course over the past months I discovered that I was continually being surprised and challenged by what I was reading. The margins of the Bible I am currently using are now filled with comments and questions, much like the Bible I used in my University and Seminary days. (For those who are interested, I am currently using the Lutheran Study Bible - the New Revised Standard Version published by Augsburg Fortress. The Bible I used in my student days was The New Oxford Annotated Bible with the Apocrypha - Revised Standard Version published by Oxford University Press - both are pictured above.) When I compare those comments and questions I have written in the margins I see that some are similar, but most are different. During the Disciple Bible Study this past year seldom did I find myself saying "I know this part well enough already", rather I was amazed by how I was still finding insights and layers of meaning I don't remember noticing before.

As well this past year found me saying at times "Why is this part in here?" and grappling with parts of the Bible that come across as out of touch with the world I know - rules and rituals that seem completely irrelevant, violence and hatred that seems inexcusable, advice and observations that seems out of touch with my experience and the world I live in. These are the parts that make me frustrated and even angry. These are the parts that are often used to justify bigotry and arrogance. For example while I think I understand the reason the Apostle Paul tolerated the system of slavery in his writings, that no longer fits with my understanding of the bigger picture - of God's intentions for our world. When I think of Jesus' command, slavery does not equate with loving others and sometimes I wish Paul had connected those dots.

In the end I can say that reading the Bible has never become boring for me, even after all these years. I certainly don't claim to understand everything I read in that collection of books, but I will claim that I often find something worth pondering. I look forward to further reading in the coming years.

Reflection #2: Music is a Gift that Needs to Be Shared, Not Limited

When I first began my ordained ministry music in worship was almost exclusively organ based. Now our most recent hymnal (Evangelical Lutheran Worship) has music in it that would not sound right on the organ at all, requiring piano or guitar instead. In my first years as a pastor the majority of people would have said that the only truly appropriate music for worship would be hymns and liturgy led by on an organ. Having experienced church camps and youth gatherings in the summers of my youth I knew this to be a falsehood for I had experienced many occasions when I had a sense of deep and meaningful worship at those camps or youth gatherings where the music was led with guitars or piano.

So much has changed in the past 25 years. I witnessed the decade of worship wars, where people who wanted more contemporary music in worship fought with people who wanted to maintain the organ and classically based music as the exclusive style of music for worship. In many situations it was the either/or attitude of both sides that created friction and fighting. I have been grateful to serve in a congregation that has been more open to a variety of music expression in worship, we have been able to use a both/and approach to music.

Personally, I feel I been fortunate to be able to bridge this spectrum, having been a classically trained musician who also developed ability and familiarity with pop, rock and jazz styles. In a sense I embodied the diverse spectrum, and saw the value in all of it. I also saw the problems within each style, in other words I could see the benefits and the difficulties of any one musical approach. So the challenge for me became not which musical style is appropriate, but how to use a certain musical style appropriately within a worship context.

Music, by its very nature, can produce within people a deep emotional reaction. Music has the ability to bring tears to the eyes or a smile to the face. Music triggers memories almost more than any other stimulus, and thus we often associate certain music with meaningful moments in our lives. For example, if one has fond memories of going to worship with the family as a child, then the music of those early worship services will simply 'feel right' to that person. I can't count how many times after we have used the organ for a worship service that people have commented to me "Now that felt like worship!" However a person who grew up in a remote African village, where a cappella singing was the only music of their childhood worship experiences, would probably have a very different reaction to a Sunday morning filled with 18th century hymns led on the organ. Rather for them it would be a rousing a cappella version of "We Are Marching in the Light of God" that could cause them to exclaim "Now that was worship!"

In our current multi-cultural context (and by that I don't mean people who have immigrated from different countries but also the different cultures found from one generation to the next) we will need to be aware that music that will help evoke a meaningful response in people will be quite varied. This does not mean we need to learn to like all kinds of music, but it does mean we need to find ways to accept the music of meaning for others. How we do this in worship will depend on the particular context, but whatever the context we should not dismiss or denigrate the music of meaning for others.

As Luther wrote "I truly desire that all Christians would love and regard as worthy the lovely gift of music, which is a precious, worthy, and costly treasure given to mankind by God." I have been fortunate to be saturated with this gift, and a big part of my ministry has been to use this gift (in a variety of styles) to help express the mysterious, emotional, reflective, challenging, and transformative relationship we have with God through Christ our Lord. Music, like the love of God, is a gift that needs to be shared - not limited!